"The speech we hear is an indication of that which we don't hear..It is a necessary avoidance, a violent, sly and anguished or mocking smoke screen which keeps the other in its true place. When true silence falls we are left with echo but are nearer nakedness. One way of looking at speech is to say it is a constant strategem to cover nakedness."
Harold Pinter
Oct.10,1930-Dec.24,2008
RIP
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
beloved Other
I've always enjoyed artistic works where the first persons point of view is stunned w/amazement (if they notice)when they encounter their own reflections. This might take the form of an alter ego, or maybe a doppelganger (or double, we all have 'em they say), or maybe just an illusion, a phantom, or a dream (or is it?)
Brilliant Argentinian tale teller Borges is so good at this smokemaking where truth may or may not be glimpsed.(and "the Other" is there) Someone who I think of as a classical romanticist, late Polish film maker,Kieslowski ,though offering more well known fine films, he has me spellbound with "The Double Life of Veronique". Someone who I think of as a classic romanticist is Robert Smith and his band The Cure.Many of his songs will take you to the middle,between the lines, to the unexplainable ("This Is A Lie" reflects on reflection for me)
Years ago, a love gave me Shakespeare's Love Sonnets. I tried to rouse & then maintain enthusiasm about them but their foreignness did not rhyme with my world, I abandoned them quickly.
Recently, I took immediately to the beautiful riddle-ishness in loving praise & passion of the spectre of the beloved Other.
Sonnet XLIII
When most I wink, then do mine eyes best see
For all the day they view things unrespected.
But when I sleep, in dreams they look on thee,
And darkly bright, are bright in dark directed.
Then thou, whose shadow shadows doth make bright,
How would thy shadow's form form happy show
To the clear day with thy much clearer light,
When to unseeing eyes thy shade shines so!
How would, I say, mine eyes be blessed made
By looking on thee in the living day.
When in dead night thy fair imperfect shade
Through heavy sleep on sightless eyes doth stay!
All days are nights to see till I see thee,
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee me.
Brilliant Argentinian tale teller Borges is so good at this smokemaking where truth may or may not be glimpsed.(and "the Other" is there) Someone who I think of as a classical romanticist, late Polish film maker,Kieslowski ,though offering more well known fine films, he has me spellbound with "The Double Life of Veronique". Someone who I think of as a classic romanticist is Robert Smith and his band The Cure.Many of his songs will take you to the middle,between the lines, to the unexplainable ("This Is A Lie" reflects on reflection for me)
Years ago, a love gave me Shakespeare's Love Sonnets. I tried to rouse & then maintain enthusiasm about them but their foreignness did not rhyme with my world, I abandoned them quickly.
Recently, I took immediately to the beautiful riddle-ishness in loving praise & passion of the spectre of the beloved Other.
Sonnet XLIII
When most I wink, then do mine eyes best see
For all the day they view things unrespected.
But when I sleep, in dreams they look on thee,
And darkly bright, are bright in dark directed.
Then thou, whose shadow shadows doth make bright,
How would thy shadow's form form happy show
To the clear day with thy much clearer light,
When to unseeing eyes thy shade shines so!
How would, I say, mine eyes be blessed made
By looking on thee in the living day.
When in dead night thy fair imperfect shade
Through heavy sleep on sightless eyes doth stay!
All days are nights to see till I see thee,
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee me.
Friday, December 19, 2008
safety
"Be prepared for truth at all hours and in the most fantastic disguises. This is
the only safety."
-Christopher Morley
the only safety."
-Christopher Morley
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
a bad dream, & counterpoint
i)
No stranger, entering the room
(I've thought of it a thousand times)
A final scene in frozen zoom.
Effluvium;
a muskscent from a love above,yet menstrual metallic.
a joke on angelic.
She drapes my drawn face. damp.
I shapen long words for my last breaths and
She thrusts every page I'd saved
(stark boy to dark man/ all my sacred words)
She threw every page down (after waving them around)
and in sacred words of her own
"Read 'em and weep"
Then blessed her lips
onto mine.
ii)
a friend of a friend, on the phone.
she shared a sharp poignant piece of her.
sharp & important to her. It pierced me to hear.
death bed of her dear friend,
whispering from the Mystic,
He gathered his loves up,
and asked if his paintings were boxed up.
No stranger, entering the room
(I've thought of it a thousand times)
A final scene in frozen zoom.
Effluvium;
a muskscent from a love above,yet menstrual metallic.
a joke on angelic.
She drapes my drawn face. damp.
I shapen long words for my last breaths and
She thrusts every page I'd saved
(stark boy to dark man/ all my sacred words)
She threw every page down (after waving them around)
and in sacred words of her own
"Read 'em and weep"
Then blessed her lips
onto mine.
ii)
a friend of a friend, on the phone.
she shared a sharp poignant piece of her.
sharp & important to her. It pierced me to hear.
death bed of her dear friend,
whispering from the Mystic,
He gathered his loves up,
and asked if his paintings were boxed up.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
wordmaths
W O R D M A T H S
"as I sleep
the deep green seas tore at the shore."
In my defence
I'm sure it's
that most wordsmiths
have worked the Earth;
its life..its weather
in metaphors galore.
This sun that moon arise. A Rose.
the cliff gales, what the dark knows,
poorly lit paths,
the sway of mayhem---
the sweet wordmaths
configuring out
Reflection.
"as I sleep
the deep green seas tore at the shore."
In my defence
I'm sure it's
that most wordsmiths
have worked the Earth;
its life..its weather
in metaphors galore.
This sun that moon arise. A Rose.
the cliff gales, what the dark knows,
poorly lit paths,
the sway of mayhem---
the sweet wordmaths
configuring out
Reflection.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Found Incidental Pertinence 2 (kinda lost)
kinda lost (Do you note a theme, a pattern, a leitmotive if you will running through these spills?)
"..Just a beer light to guide us.."
- David Bowie
"And this is the simple truth--that to live is to feel oneself lost"
-Soren Kierkegaard
G L I M P S E
A trance makes its appearance
and placid lakes pull fog tight,
perfect light performs subtle sonatas
for dance,
for ponderance
tucked not very loud in a cloud.
And I guess I get my own drift.
-found in an old folder just now, years ago
"..Just a beer light to guide us.."
- David Bowie
"And this is the simple truth--that to live is to feel oneself lost"
-Soren Kierkegaard
G L I M P S E
A trance makes its appearance
and placid lakes pull fog tight,
perfect light performs subtle sonatas
for dance,
for ponderance
tucked not very loud in a cloud.
And I guess I get my own drift.
-found in an old folder just now, years ago
Found Incidental Pertinence 1
S O D I F F E R E N T -Kay Ryan
A tree is lightly connected
to its blossums.
For a tree it is
a pleasant sensation
to be stripped
of what's white and winsome.
If a big wind comes,
any nascent interest in fruit
scatters. This is different
from humans, for whom
what is un-set matters
so oddly---as though
only what is lost held possibility.
From Flamino Watching, Kay Ryan
for s.
A tree is lightly connected
to its blossums.
For a tree it is
a pleasant sensation
to be stripped
of what's white and winsome.
If a big wind comes,
any nascent interest in fruit
scatters. This is different
from humans, for whom
what is un-set matters
so oddly---as though
only what is lost held possibility.
From Flamino Watching, Kay Ryan
for s.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
blood shadows oils for later
In the upper peninsula of Michigan
blustery State Road 2 you must go.
It's quite common to drive over
deep blood in snow/ dead buck or a doe.
Just as felines must fall & fill gutters
South of there, all over.
deep blood in the snow.
With the people of upper Michigan
it's quite common they'll drape over
& tie up their meat
off the back of their battered trucks
and freight it home to their freezers
for later.
Here in Southwest Florida
on the way to work
it's uncommon...
(I called out "Oh my God")
it's uncommon to drive over...
(I killed an alligator)
I was light on sleep and late for work
All in a dream's dread, in my headlights,
I called out "Oh my God"
Still When I left working, dark in the dawning
(I left It for the taking. It was gone.)
Still were spilled shadows. most it was gone.
Lost. home, what would save me?
milk cream & alcohol
Nor Down on my knees
under Art on a wall;
Oils spilled on
empty space clean
I know is for all, from All.
(I called in "oh my god")
stains for a dream
blustery State Road 2 you must go.
It's quite common to drive over
deep blood in snow/ dead buck or a doe.
Just as felines must fall & fill gutters
South of there, all over.
deep blood in the snow.
With the people of upper Michigan
it's quite common they'll drape over
& tie up their meat
off the back of their battered trucks
and freight it home to their freezers
for later.
Here in Southwest Florida
on the way to work
it's uncommon...
(I called out "Oh my God")
it's uncommon to drive over...
(I killed an alligator)
I was light on sleep and late for work
All in a dream's dread, in my headlights,
I called out "Oh my God"
Still When I left working, dark in the dawning
(I left It for the taking. It was gone.)
Still were spilled shadows. most it was gone.
Lost. home, what would save me?
milk cream & alcohol
Nor Down on my knees
under Art on a wall;
Oils spilled on
empty space clean
I know is for all, from All.
(I called in "oh my god")
stains for a dream
Thursday, November 6, 2008
As ever, the darkness/ the light
pretenders who knew & liked me
now are likely
just gone.
Sure I'm sullen,
I am surly,
but surely less vague.
Must one
who won't find his feet
forego freely his fog,
part with his mists of his
heart, his spells, on his own bog?
-----------------------------------------
she rolled her head on my arm
from side to side in the dark
not long after lovemaking.
When I asked her why she shook her head
she admitted she & sleep were working out;
when birds nest the weather warms, NO,
where it's warm then birds will settle.
now are likely
just gone.
Sure I'm sullen,
I am surly,
but surely less vague.
Must one
who won't find his feet
forego freely his fog,
part with his mists of his
heart, his spells, on his own bog?
-----------------------------------------
she rolled her head on my arm
from side to side in the dark
not long after lovemaking.
When I asked her why she shook her head
she admitted she & sleep were working out;
when birds nest the weather warms, NO,
where it's warm then birds will settle.
Monday, October 27, 2008
standing in the shadow of love
"..Standing in the shadow of love
trying my best to get ready for the heartaches to come"
Four Tops
"here,hold my hand,take
and hold my hand"
and he told his weary talk.
the only one I can
say I was in love with,
when I told her my decision
she laughed dry derision
"love".
In St.Pete I felt a meltme smile pass me
in a storeway
& it took this long to never shake it off.
Detroit, I caught a kiss at a red light,
dead of night.
disabled in Deserts, I sought fathomous eyes
unable to ever walk off.
Rainforests, I knew I knew her.Near god did.
She nodded & couldn't agree in a more way.
Classic Romanticism, I think.
Was sent prose on Paris ink.
One turn, she insisted that I
"Burn this missive". she insisted.
One turn, business trips she wrote off
turned to pleasure resumed, in hotel rooms,
she slid her suit and bedcoat off.
Tho' with some it was just juices;
they'd come & go faithless,
less restless, faceless.
well, the 1st one is still
giving me the time of day.
& while this one here is still
living w/me a decade, day by day,
the last one will leave, always,
giving me all away.
But I thought up a love for most.
I'd trade in a clarity
I'd opt for opaque
I'd shift off all verity
and lift off
intrigue
but I got caught up in some love at some cost
at least.
-Wes Fulland Perdue
from " Lo Lothario!"
trying my best to get ready for the heartaches to come"
Four Tops
"here,hold my hand,take
and hold my hand"
and he told his weary talk.
the only one I can
say I was in love with,
when I told her my decision
she laughed dry derision
"love".
In St.Pete I felt a meltme smile pass me
in a storeway
& it took this long to never shake it off.
Detroit, I caught a kiss at a red light,
dead of night.
disabled in Deserts, I sought fathomous eyes
unable to ever walk off.
Rainforests, I knew I knew her.Near god did.
She nodded & couldn't agree in a more way.
Classic Romanticism, I think.
Was sent prose on Paris ink.
One turn, she insisted that I
"Burn this missive". she insisted.
One turn, business trips she wrote off
turned to pleasure resumed, in hotel rooms,
she slid her suit and bedcoat off.
Tho' with some it was just juices;
they'd come & go faithless,
less restless, faceless.
well, the 1st one is still
giving me the time of day.
& while this one here is still
living w/me a decade, day by day,
the last one will leave, always,
giving me all away.
But I thought up a love for most.
I'd trade in a clarity
I'd opt for opaque
I'd shift off all verity
and lift off
intrigue
but I got caught up in some love at some cost
at least.
-Wes Fulland Perdue
from " Lo Lothario!"
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
seemingly dumb but oddly apt
ON THE DIFFICULTY OF DRAWING ONESELF UP
One does not stack
It would be like
a mouse on the back
of a mouse
on a mouse's back.
Courses of mice
layers of shivers
and whiskers
A wobbling tower
mouse wide,
with nothing more
than a mouse inside
- Kay Ryan
One does not stack
It would be like
a mouse on the back
of a mouse
on a mouse's back.
Courses of mice
layers of shivers
and whiskers
A wobbling tower
mouse wide,
with nothing more
than a mouse inside
- Kay Ryan
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
unexpected emergency repair lines
Since I last logged in to lay down my foggy lines
I've had bouts of misfortune; unexpected
dental repair emergencies, unexpected
house repair emergencies, unexpected
auto repair emergencies (I was honestly nearly killed
by the deadly carelessness of the dumbfuck mechanic
I resisted screaming at "that's the way they kill people on Columbo"
& a lesser man than me would not have
resisted punching his sunny face. I did nothing.
harsh as a car crash maybe (i did nothing)
Unexpectedly, I've lost enough love
that my film's color has faded.
blossums have blanched some.
Glass Half Full: The American Northwest
was everything it promised to be,again;
Bright,brisk, & alive..
all making the medley of NW seafoods
my brother superbly prepared
taste-filled.
" It's Hard times befallin the soul survivors"
" Where the hell am I..?"
both from "Hey Nineteen"
-Steeley Don Fagen
I've had bouts of misfortune; unexpected
dental repair emergencies, unexpected
house repair emergencies, unexpected
auto repair emergencies (I was honestly nearly killed
by the deadly carelessness of the dumbfuck mechanic
I resisted screaming at "that's the way they kill people on Columbo"
& a lesser man than me would not have
resisted punching his sunny face. I did nothing.
harsh as a car crash maybe (i did nothing)
Unexpectedly, I've lost enough love
that my film's color has faded.
blossums have blanched some.
Glass Half Full: The American Northwest
was everything it promised to be,again;
Bright,brisk, & alive..
all making the medley of NW seafoods
my brother superbly prepared
taste-filled.
" It's Hard times befallin the soul survivors"
" Where the hell am I..?"
both from "Hey Nineteen"
-Steeley Don Fagen
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
another holiday/ a contrast /& Gone
the time away (a day away) will surely relieve the difficult and demanding week (almost a punishing week,with it's surprise abuses) that just happened.
"I've spent too many years at war with myself
the doctor has told me it's no good for my health
To search for perfection is all very well
but to look for heaven is to live here in hell
After today, consider me gone"
from "Consider Me Gone" Sting
"So you know how it is
Wake up feeling grey
Nothing much to think and nothing much to say
Don't want to talk/ don't want to try/
Don't want to think/ don't want to know
Who what where when or why
Oh but you do that and you're missing the world
Yeah it's happening right now whatever you heard
You do that & you're missing the world
You have to get up get out and get gone!
yeah get up get out and have some fun
You have to get up get out and get gone!
Yeah get up get out and get it on
Get up get out and get gone! "
from "Gone" Robert Smith/Cure
"I've spent too many years at war with myself
the doctor has told me it's no good for my health
To search for perfection is all very well
but to look for heaven is to live here in hell
After today, consider me gone"
from "Consider Me Gone" Sting
"So you know how it is
Wake up feeling grey
Nothing much to think and nothing much to say
Don't want to talk/ don't want to try/
Don't want to think/ don't want to know
Who what where when or why
Oh but you do that and you're missing the world
Yeah it's happening right now whatever you heard
You do that & you're missing the world
You have to get up get out and get gone!
yeah get up get out and have some fun
You have to get up get out and get gone!
Yeah get up get out and get it on
Get up get out and get gone! "
from "Gone" Robert Smith/Cure
Thursday, September 11, 2008
deception pass (or Placid Flaccid Election)
It could be considered a crucial time, here, a coupla months before another American presidential election. Was there a time when these weeks before the vote, conscientious pre-voters exchanged their views,
compared & debated..when we talked about it all and we were the better for it?
I've heard some stories lately (and have one of my own) that concern these weeks bringing out (from loved ones;friends,family, & lovers) the medley of peculiar differences, what we don't share; the untilnow quiet unearthed private prejudices, the secret inner pulses of a P.O.V.
From one, proudly, a surely sound heartfelt thoughtout nugget of belief.
To another who thinks it only ignorant.
Arguments Abound! Dis coarse. Emphatic rhetoric riding on raised voices. Feeling hurt. Angers. disappointments.towards kinda new loved ones;friends,family, & lovers. New things revealed. The lines are drawn.
Peace loving people like me may shy away some from sharing necessary political truths. New rules may now apply.
no politics, very late in the day.
compared & debated..when we talked about it all and we were the better for it?
I've heard some stories lately (and have one of my own) that concern these weeks bringing out (from loved ones;friends,family, & lovers) the medley of peculiar differences, what we don't share; the untilnow quiet unearthed private prejudices, the secret inner pulses of a P.O.V.
From one, proudly, a surely sound heartfelt thoughtout nugget of belief.
To another who thinks it only ignorant.
Arguments Abound! Dis coarse. Emphatic rhetoric riding on raised voices. Feeling hurt. Angers. disappointments.towards kinda new loved ones;friends,family, & lovers. New things revealed. The lines are drawn.
Peace loving people like me may shy away some from sharing necessary political truths. New rules may now apply.
no politics, very late in the day.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
encountering soft affinities,possibly electrical
in a short time this morning I encountered these two very different works by two very different artists and yet, they're brother & sister as they chime about something that goes on here, I can't help but know,I don't think.
"Inside the museum,infinity goes up on trial
Voices echo This is what salvation must be like after a while"
from 'Visions Of Johanna' Bob Dylan
W E A K F O R C E S
I enjoy an accumulating
faith in weak forces--
a weak faith, or course,
easily shaken, but also
easily regained--in what
starts to drift: all the
slow untrainings of the mind,
the sift left of resolve
sustained too long, the
strange eternal shift
by which there's no knowing
if this is the road taken
or untaken. There are soft
affinities, possibly electrical;
lint like congeries; moonlit
hints; asymmetrical pink
glowy spots that are not
the defeat of something,
I don't think.
Kay Ryan, Poet Laureate
"Inside the museum,infinity goes up on trial
Voices echo This is what salvation must be like after a while"
from 'Visions Of Johanna' Bob Dylan
W E A K F O R C E S
I enjoy an accumulating
faith in weak forces--
a weak faith, or course,
easily shaken, but also
easily regained--in what
starts to drift: all the
slow untrainings of the mind,
the sift left of resolve
sustained too long, the
strange eternal shift
by which there's no knowing
if this is the road taken
or untaken. There are soft
affinities, possibly electrical;
lint like congeries; moonlit
hints; asymmetrical pink
glowy spots that are not
the defeat of something,
I don't think.
Kay Ryan, Poet Laureate
Saturday, August 16, 2008
I plead
maybe,one reason all I could come up with tonight is presentable but unsatisfying,convoluted and mildly polluted w/philosobabble (kinda like the latest woody allen movie)
one reason is that the season's 1st hurricane is on the way (I just went out and purchased about 200 pounds of cat litter((for homemade sand bags,silly)) and maybe a thousand ozs of drinking water. water in/water out. I plead "distracted".
P A T H/ R O A D
through heavy brush,
misty morning mountain paths
may seem a blind pass.
though, I trust,
moonlit shortsteps are taken,surely.
looking down, seeing clearly.
as for the rough road,
I could never sleep well on the shoulder
I could only seek deeper woods for shelter
where embers will rise & dreams will fall.
looking up,darkening to all.
one reason is that the season's 1st hurricane is on the way (I just went out and purchased about 200 pounds of cat litter((for homemade sand bags,silly)) and maybe a thousand ozs of drinking water. water in/water out. I plead "distracted".
P A T H/ R O A D
through heavy brush,
misty morning mountain paths
may seem a blind pass.
though, I trust,
moonlit shortsteps are taken,surely.
looking down, seeing clearly.
as for the rough road,
I could never sleep well on the shoulder
I could only seek deeper woods for shelter
where embers will rise & dreams will fall.
looking up,darkening to all.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
midnight chord
"life is like a stage, I guess
love is stages of undress"
DELIRIUM TREMENDOUS
side effects may include
-absently staring into space (not time)
-walking into walls
-walking through walls
-delusions (the good kind)
-A cute optimism
-serious loss of scepticism, doubt, & Down.
-control issues
-Fact, being better than it seems
-a packed pocketful of dreams
-spells of snow angels
-pretty picturewindows in a bomb shelter
-There's a bird on a word
-There's a drunk in a midnight chord
-we all scream.. for vanishing cream
-Alas, Atlas, tonight at least...
-don't operate heavy machinery
-Blue Skies
catalists: Rickie Lee Jones,saveme sunni,poetess Gillian Kidd Osborne
love is stages of undress"
DELIRIUM TREMENDOUS
side effects may include
-absently staring into space (not time)
-walking into walls
-walking through walls
-delusions (the good kind)
-A cute optimism
-serious loss of scepticism, doubt, & Down.
-control issues
-Fact, being better than it seems
-a packed pocketful of dreams
-spells of snow angels
-pretty picturewindows in a bomb shelter
-There's a bird on a word
-There's a drunk in a midnight chord
-we all scream.. for vanishing cream
-Alas, Atlas, tonight at least...
-don't operate heavy machinery
-Blue Skies
catalists: Rickie Lee Jones,saveme sunni,poetess Gillian Kidd Osborne
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
some wounds
a)there was a fix in to go down in the
sixth round
b)industrial accident
c)back "safe" again in his cell
d) both b) and c)
you decide
"I rub my wounds w/ alcohol" -Alejandro Escovedo
from the magnificient "Put You Down"
sixth round
b)industrial accident
c)back "safe" again in his cell
d) both b) and c)
you decide
"I rub my wounds w/ alcohol" -Alejandro Escovedo
from the magnificient "Put You Down"
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Midsummer's Night Dream
I've been in a sitz bath for rough wordmath,steeping for days.
Sensual Summer Dusk
I take position to take in the transition of light.
And as a day ends, I'm soon letting slip an alotted slot of time
Before moonlight..to write.
I will follow infrequent fragrences,white flowers of free faith,
for the unforseen windfalls.
I'd ignore the glare of hidden costs.
Do you succumb to the cicada song that catches
you in your throat? Or are you one that watches
when fireflies surprize?
What might you do in
night's dew mists?
A man might dream,
not might but must.
Sensual Summer Dusk
I take position to take in the transition of light.
And as a day ends, I'm soon letting slip an alotted slot of time
Before moonlight..to write.
I will follow infrequent fragrences,white flowers of free faith,
for the unforseen windfalls.
I'd ignore the glare of hidden costs.
Do you succumb to the cicada song that catches
you in your throat? Or are you one that watches
when fireflies surprize?
What might you do in
night's dew mists?
A man might dream,
not might but must.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
elusive love
A friend of a friend was a new nurse in a new high rise hospital where she mostly has clerical duties. One midday in the lunchroom, her break is broken when a man across the way from her starts making alarming choking sounds. A room full of nurses might humorously seem like an ideal location for choking, but our friend of a friend nurse has been away from hands-on medical aid for some time, she's been busy on the computer w/the files for years, and could only notice that the other more proficient nurses seemed to be ignoring the situation. Confused and frustrated with their behavior she rushes over to the man (He's a large man, not unlike myself, this big Irish head's gotta ride on a big body. size isn't everything)
She awkwardly positions herself behind him and begins to vigorously hug him,again and again from behind. It's a bit difficult because of the man's size, but she presses on. again and again. His choking breaks up some to a rasp and he mumbles that he'll be all right.
After he shyly ambles off, our nurse turns to scowl & glare at her fellow professionals when one of them declares, "the police have been called, he's done this before."
I'm thinking that things aren't always as they seem. Maybe this guy wasn't a manipulative, sexual deviant. Maybe he was at the point where he Must have a hug. The things we do for love.
A guy I kinda know once talked about going to a professional massage therapist and decidedly took a Viagra beforehand. I'm thinking that things aren't always as they seem. Maybe he loved when his lover laughed, it would be so precious when he told her. The things we do for love.
She awkwardly positions herself behind him and begins to vigorously hug him,again and again from behind. It's a bit difficult because of the man's size, but she presses on. again and again. His choking breaks up some to a rasp and he mumbles that he'll be all right.
After he shyly ambles off, our nurse turns to scowl & glare at her fellow professionals when one of them declares, "the police have been called, he's done this before."
I'm thinking that things aren't always as they seem. Maybe this guy wasn't a manipulative, sexual deviant. Maybe he was at the point where he Must have a hug. The things we do for love.
A guy I kinda know once talked about going to a professional massage therapist and decidedly took a Viagra beforehand. I'm thinking that things aren't always as they seem. Maybe he loved when his lover laughed, it would be so precious when he told her. The things we do for love.
Monday, July 21, 2008
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Saturday, June 28, 2008
misconnecting/connecting
before I start, as a "Hey" to Charley, there are two under-the-radar peculiar laughs to be mined in a coupla old songs by stephen stills. I like to think they might be about the stumble-in-the-dark nature of the quest for love. wise guy stephen stills?
"Wordlessly watching,he waits by the window
and wonders about the empty space inside
heartlessly helping himself to her bad dreams
he worries..did he hear a goodbye
or even "hello?"
from 'Helplessly Hoping'
and from the powerful bridge from 'Bluebird' from the Buffalo Springfield days
"Do you think she knows you?
Do you think at all?"
*
Ok, starting now
let me spill some about "connecting to the stars"
Besides shaking hands w/Spaulding Gray (RIP) and
Richard Thompson (TWICE)
I felt something between me and Ricki Lee Jones (we locked eyes w/love)
and Bob Seger in a bar (we locked eyes w/friendship)
Since the ceiling was spinning as Jackson Browne was singing a ethereal take on "Too Many Angels" I needed to work my way down the aisle to escape,towards the stage, from where Jackson needled me "Don't Go"
I raised one arm up, palm up, and shrugged. then, a wave.
We all shared a laugh.
Todd Rundgren had an elaborate circular stage one tour,where besides seating willing drummers from the crowd to join in to "play all day" on that damn song, besides that, he had cams mounted & a variety of stuffed toys,rocket ships,and whatever suspended over the crowd,with outreaching and spinning mechanical arms. (or maybe i dreamed this)
People were way too distracted (like babies under a mobile) reaching for
the thing instead of listening...
I grabbed a big dinosaur..and held it..not sharing, and trying to focus on what Todd was trying to do..and he all of a sudden was shouting "Hey, let go of my dinosaur!"
My only rejoinder could be (I yelled over the divine din)
"It's the content, stupid" something he just might have said.
We shared a laugh.
"Wordlessly watching,he waits by the window
and wonders about the empty space inside
heartlessly helping himself to her bad dreams
he worries..did he hear a goodbye
or even "hello?"
from 'Helplessly Hoping'
and from the powerful bridge from 'Bluebird' from the Buffalo Springfield days
"Do you think she knows you?
Do you think at all?"
*
Ok, starting now
let me spill some about "connecting to the stars"
Besides shaking hands w/Spaulding Gray (RIP) and
Richard Thompson (TWICE)
I felt something between me and Ricki Lee Jones (we locked eyes w/love)
and Bob Seger in a bar (we locked eyes w/friendship)
Since the ceiling was spinning as Jackson Browne was singing a ethereal take on "Too Many Angels" I needed to work my way down the aisle to escape,towards the stage, from where Jackson needled me "Don't Go"
I raised one arm up, palm up, and shrugged. then, a wave.
We all shared a laugh.
Todd Rundgren had an elaborate circular stage one tour,where besides seating willing drummers from the crowd to join in to "play all day" on that damn song, besides that, he had cams mounted & a variety of stuffed toys,rocket ships,and whatever suspended over the crowd,with outreaching and spinning mechanical arms. (or maybe i dreamed this)
People were way too distracted (like babies under a mobile) reaching for
the thing instead of listening...
I grabbed a big dinosaur..and held it..not sharing, and trying to focus on what Todd was trying to do..and he all of a sudden was shouting "Hey, let go of my dinosaur!"
My only rejoinder could be (I yelled over the divine din)
"It's the content, stupid" something he just might have said.
We shared a laugh.
Friday, June 27, 2008
I was so much older then..
written when I was a kid but I was always proud of it/thot I'd share
P O I S E
I'm immersed in the miracle
of my sense
Poised on the pinnacle
of a fence
Razor-sharp and fast
I gotta outlast
a lotta likelihood.
& rays of cutting ice;
a slanting precipice
was wanting the place
I stood.
P O I S E
I'm immersed in the miracle
of my sense
Poised on the pinnacle
of a fence
Razor-sharp and fast
I gotta outlast
a lotta likelihood.
& rays of cutting ice;
a slanting precipice
was wanting the place
I stood.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
cheers
I own my own muse
uncannily, I can amuse me
it's fairly common knowledge,I think, that some Irish may
consider a spot of poteen and a pint at the end of a well-spent day...
God's pay for a day's good work. Earned.
when I get home, I spill a half swallow of irish whiskey in my glass, turn to look out the back window,raise my glass some, and to the sunrise's orange and yellows,to the trees & water
I'll whisper "yes, here's to ya,then".
Coupla nights back, I noticed there was just half a swallow in the bottle I might savor in the morning after work, and get the empty bottle out to the recyclable bin before the early truck. Before I headed off to work
the night before though, it was apparent that my sweet & neat mate, thinking logically that the bottle was another empty to go out the night before, took it out.
the next morning, after getting out all the rest of the trash out to the front that needed to go,walking the 30 yards back up my broken driveway to the house, I stopped. I smiled, then started laughing as I walked back to the road, all the time thinking of the imaginary guy across the street, opening his blinds for the sunrise, slippers & robe,looking out and seeing the real life guy across the street walking out to the road, lifting the top up, and reaching down into the bin, pulling out a bottle, unscrewing the top and tipping it back for that last swallow.
uncannily, I can amuse me
it's fairly common knowledge,I think, that some Irish may
consider a spot of poteen and a pint at the end of a well-spent day...
God's pay for a day's good work. Earned.
when I get home, I spill a half swallow of irish whiskey in my glass, turn to look out the back window,raise my glass some, and to the sunrise's orange and yellows,to the trees & water
I'll whisper "yes, here's to ya,then".
Coupla nights back, I noticed there was just half a swallow in the bottle I might savor in the morning after work, and get the empty bottle out to the recyclable bin before the early truck. Before I headed off to work
the night before though, it was apparent that my sweet & neat mate, thinking logically that the bottle was another empty to go out the night before, took it out.
the next morning, after getting out all the rest of the trash out to the front that needed to go,walking the 30 yards back up my broken driveway to the house, I stopped. I smiled, then started laughing as I walked back to the road, all the time thinking of the imaginary guy across the street, opening his blinds for the sunrise, slippers & robe,looking out and seeing the real life guy across the street walking out to the road, lifting the top up, and reaching down into the bin, pulling out a bottle, unscrewing the top and tipping it back for that last swallow.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
MALESTORM
the weather is wrong
it's pouring but there're stars,
a full moon loud behind cloudings.
it's hydroplane hell on these slick tricky curves,
think-quick black splotches spray up,
and yank on my wheel.
my fingers grab tighten, lit up by lightning.
I'm in a dream, in a tail spin
half-asleep myself I lean down
to caress her goodnight.
to find her in the very darkness
I finger jabbed her eye &
I cringed when she cried.
"does it matter I meant well
when I hurt you?" and left her.
went outside to ride in the rain
and inside I died some again.
it's pouring but there're stars,
a full moon loud behind cloudings.
it's hydroplane hell on these slick tricky curves,
think-quick black splotches spray up,
and yank on my wheel.
my fingers grab tighten, lit up by lightning.
I'm in a dream, in a tail spin
half-asleep myself I lean down
to caress her goodnight.
to find her in the very darkness
I finger jabbed her eye &
I cringed when she cried.
"does it matter I meant well
when I hurt you?" and left her.
went outside to ride in the rain
and inside I died some again.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
dylan sang "I'm gonna give myself a good talking to"
Lifetimes ago, a person I allowed myself to fall in love with told me that I was likely "the most unhappy person" she had ever known.
I felt no such thing.
But I was game,I guess, for spiritual experimentation when i finally took her up on her suggestions that I enter therapy.
In a short time, I learned to appreciate the self-indulgent free sharing & release, and even came to develop a bit of a need for the process. like church for some
I recently saw the movie "The Bucket List" ( a film where only the damn likable likes of Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson might 'make entertaining'
the dread filled subject of cancer and onrushing death.) At the center of attention was a list scribbled on a legal pad page of things important to accomplish before kicking the bucket. Our dying but damn likable gentlemen pursue ideal dreams, & scratch 'em off.
Lifetimes ago, as an exercise to force priorities onto the surface & into the light, my Doctor of Listening & Provocative Questions prescribed homework;
If I had one week to live, and knew it..what must I accomplish,
what might & must I do to complete this life?
I wrote a dozen pages and typed them up.
It was good for me, as this was.
I felt no such thing.
But I was game,I guess, for spiritual experimentation when i finally took her up on her suggestions that I enter therapy.
In a short time, I learned to appreciate the self-indulgent free sharing & release, and even came to develop a bit of a need for the process. like church for some
I recently saw the movie "The Bucket List" ( a film where only the damn likable likes of Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson might 'make entertaining'
the dread filled subject of cancer and onrushing death.) At the center of attention was a list scribbled on a legal pad page of things important to accomplish before kicking the bucket. Our dying but damn likable gentlemen pursue ideal dreams, & scratch 'em off.
Lifetimes ago, as an exercise to force priorities onto the surface & into the light, my Doctor of Listening & Provocative Questions prescribed homework;
If I had one week to live, and knew it..what must I accomplish,
what might & must I do to complete this life?
I wrote a dozen pages and typed them up.
It was good for me, as this was.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
nary a "bitch"
influidnced by bloody carafes of Pi-"no way!" she just might be full of disagreeable.
a broombruising was brewing for me, when I flippantly flipped my dark card to center table; a recent restaurant rant.
"Sex and the City,The Movie is a monster hit? Monster ,all right. So,
they sell "trendy & modern woman", when she's a materialistic,
More & More monster. The sell "freely opinionated" when they're just judgemental & elitist. They look like they have a high-fashion handle on their whirlwind worlds when they're manipulative and self serving. Naughty..
w/their tres' chic sexual chicanery when actually they're bold cavewomen,dumb & daring the dark away from the fire, like some of us sometimes.
I didn't like them in high school, them damn kinda dames, and I don't like them twisting thirteen year olds' "who shall I be?"s
allowed into the theater."
I imagined that my gist was feminist. but it might have missed the three women at the table I apparently had unsettled who just might had settled on which movie to catch later.
a broombruising was brewing for me, when I flippantly flipped my dark card to center table; a recent restaurant rant.
"Sex and the City,The Movie is a monster hit? Monster ,all right. So,
they sell "trendy & modern woman", when she's a materialistic,
More & More monster. The sell "freely opinionated" when they're just judgemental & elitist. They look like they have a high-fashion handle on their whirlwind worlds when they're manipulative and self serving. Naughty..
w/their tres' chic sexual chicanery when actually they're bold cavewomen,dumb & daring the dark away from the fire, like some of us sometimes.
I didn't like them in high school, them damn kinda dames, and I don't like them twisting thirteen year olds' "who shall I be?"s
allowed into the theater."
I imagined that my gist was feminist. but it might have missed the three women at the table I apparently had unsettled who just might had settled on which movie to catch later.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
faraway (mellie & the 13th confession)
another happy deathday daddy/ r/i/p 5/29
"..it's a hard way to find out
that trouble is real
in a faraway city
with a faraway feel" -Gram Parsons
3 songs move me in the same way.
i) When Aimee Mann takes me (personally) through the fist-shaking
It's not gonna stop until you "Wise Up" (from the Magnolia soundtrack)
I take baby steps back. And just as she leaves she drives that fist
to my gut w/ the bleak faithless punchline
"So just..give up".
ii) Stipes' REM saves me some
"Everybody Hurts")
iii)Kate Bush & Peter Gabriel save us some
with the tender, and Mercy filled "Don't Give Up"
These all move me the same way.
35 years ago I wrote in a notebook
"What kind of scope when one ain't One?
How can one cope when it ain't no fun?
How much hope for a suicide's son?"
"There's a train leaving nightly
called 'when all is said and done'.. " -Warren Zevon
"..it's a hard way to find out
that trouble is real
in a faraway city
with a faraway feel" -Gram Parsons
3 songs move me in the same way.
i) When Aimee Mann takes me (personally) through the fist-shaking
It's not gonna stop until you "Wise Up" (from the Magnolia soundtrack)
I take baby steps back. And just as she leaves she drives that fist
to my gut w/ the bleak faithless punchline
"So just..give up".
ii) Stipes' REM saves me some
w/ a precious prayer that calls to all fallen
to the lonely lost battered depths (spikes & mallets quieted w/"Everybody Hurts")
iii)Kate Bush & Peter Gabriel save us some
with the tender, and Mercy filled "Don't Give Up"
These all move me the same way.
35 years ago I wrote in a notebook
"What kind of scope when one ain't One?
How can one cope when it ain't no fun?
How much hope for a suicide's son?"
"There's a train leaving nightly
called 'when all is said and done'.. " -Warren Zevon
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
lush/dreamy dream within a dream
Today was the release date of the long awaited (by me) Audio recording effort by young femme fatale Scarlett Johansson,which is even more fetching as she is trying stuff by brilliant wiseguy Tom Waits. Like when her fellow too-compelling actress/enchantress/chanteuse Charlotte Gainsbourg tried "Five fifty five".. For me..I ache for it's blandness/
I so expected it's grandness.
Maybe it's because I've been listening to a lotta edgy Polly Jean Harvey &
Dresden Dolls lately but the lush & dreamy sound that Scarlett's producer was going for(Mr. Waits is truly a wistful romantic and lush is appropriate,but) was way short of what studio lush-legends Mr. Brian Wilson or Jon Brion might have succeeded at.
Maybe if producer/hero Todd Rundgren had been saddled w/the studio chores, and Scarlett chose from Mr. Rundgren's vast cache of gems to interpret, all mighta been AOK. Imagine her lushing w/ "It Wouldn't Have Made Any Difference","Wailing Wall","Torch Song", or "The Night
The Carousel Burned Down" complete with all those gorgeously hishy glockenspiels & tubular bells & shit.
God, Todd could even keep Bowie for the cameo backups again,if he likes.
& mix it with a kiss & a part clenched fist
can you picture this?
I so expected it's grandness.
Maybe it's because I've been listening to a lotta edgy Polly Jean Harvey &
Dresden Dolls lately but the lush & dreamy sound that Scarlett's producer was going for(Mr. Waits is truly a wistful romantic and lush is appropriate,but) was way short of what studio lush-legends Mr. Brian Wilson or Jon Brion might have succeeded at.
Maybe if producer/hero Todd Rundgren had been saddled w/the studio chores, and Scarlett chose from Mr. Rundgren's vast cache of gems to interpret, all mighta been AOK. Imagine her lushing w/ "It Wouldn't Have Made Any Difference","Wailing Wall","Torch Song", or "The Night
The Carousel Burned Down" complete with all those gorgeously hishy glockenspiels & tubular bells & shit.
God, Todd could even keep Bowie for the cameo backups again,if he likes.
& mix it with a kiss & a part clenched fist
can you picture this?
Friday, May 16, 2008
mixed media memorium .Bob Rauschenberg May 12,2008
From Cunningham and Cage
to the last, less dramatic stage
You found
& let broken art be broken art.
You sequestered, sequenced, &
segued.
You corralled,
Caught,
& catalogued
odd blends.
yr. now taskless assistants
yr. staff of stuff scavengers
must now scatter
like bears from the dump at dawn
& drop their own one-patch versions
of yr piecemeal visions
yr. material jazz
silenter
to the last, less dramatic stage
You found
& let broken art be broken art.
You sequestered, sequenced, &
segued.
You corralled,
Caught,
& catalogued
odd blends.
yr. now taskless assistants
yr. staff of stuff scavengers
must now scatter
like bears from the dump at dawn
& drop their own one-patch versions
of yr piecemeal visions
yr. material jazz
silenter
Monday, May 12, 2008
odd job
Somewhere,in character,Humphrey Bogart said something like "You're not one of those characters are you?" & smiled such a disagreeable smile
We've probably all known some 'characters' off the silver screen. Not just
the truly individualistic,unique ones that do sparkle up the heap of our own friends and our own families,But there are those who climb higher on the "watch me,Now" soapbox for a shout in the park. Society's characters,acting out their parts.
There was this old guy, back 35 yrs. when I was in school,this old guy always in the keystone cop outfit, who was glaringly obvious in the mix of very young college students. The badbearded glassyeyed guy never said much,
likely because he was higher & drunker than the rest of us at any given time. Some of us used to imagine him persistant & lucky enough to bed some of the sillier,high & drunker girls, the last standing at the latest of nights. He went by "Buster" I think.
he seemed like an ancient unsympathetic drunken fuck to me.
I'm probably older..than he was,
tonight.
From Mt. Pleasant I went on to live in Ann Arbor. Most any alumni of U of M. from the 70's knew who the character Shakey Jake was; an indiscriminately aged black man..on any corner,armed w/his stringed instrument,working it some & trying to accompany it some.He was early chuck berryish;zoot suited pinks,whites,& Blacks. Wore baggy checks,jacket, & two-toned shoes. and a bad lid.
He was usually with a nod,toothy smile , and a hey.
probably Also got invites to party..and maybe more from the ladies.
funny how being odd can help getting creature comforts met.
for me, subtlety always trumps blatancy
like rod stewart mostly metaphored almost forty years before
"I combed my hair a thousand ways,but it came out lookin just the same"
We've probably all known some 'characters' off the silver screen. Not just
the truly individualistic,unique ones that do sparkle up the heap of our own friends and our own families,But there are those who climb higher on the "watch me,Now" soapbox for a shout in the park. Society's characters,acting out their parts.
There was this old guy, back 35 yrs. when I was in school,this old guy always in the keystone cop outfit, who was glaringly obvious in the mix of very young college students. The badbearded glassyeyed guy never said much,
likely because he was higher & drunker than the rest of us at any given time. Some of us used to imagine him persistant & lucky enough to bed some of the sillier,high & drunker girls, the last standing at the latest of nights. He went by "Buster" I think.
he seemed like an ancient unsympathetic drunken fuck to me.
I'm probably older..than he was,
tonight.
From Mt. Pleasant I went on to live in Ann Arbor. Most any alumni of U of M. from the 70's knew who the character Shakey Jake was; an indiscriminately aged black man..on any corner,armed w/his stringed instrument,working it some & trying to accompany it some.He was early chuck berryish;zoot suited pinks,whites,& Blacks. Wore baggy checks,jacket, & two-toned shoes. and a bad lid.
He was usually with a nod,toothy smile , and a hey.
probably Also got invites to party..and maybe more from the ladies.
funny how being odd can help getting creature comforts met.
for me, subtlety always trumps blatancy
like rod stewart mostly metaphored almost forty years before
"I combed my hair a thousand ways,but it came out lookin just the same"
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
wordmath4/29/8 (Refusing Dawn & Guts for Love)
I can Recognize, but hell,
I can't Realize so well.
I'd drink more coffee but my cardiologist insists I don't
I'd drink more coffee but my heart man
prescribes "not so smart, man".
I'd think more whiskey would push me
to bask at last in a primal light,
but my general practitioner generally frowns
about practicing until I get it right.
I'd read more
but eyes see less.. I digress,
I'd come 2/pray more/give in/give more/dream-sleep in/weep for once/
walk the lit dark like I used to/
take the darklight I've refused to.
I can Recognize, but hell,
I don't Realize so well.
I can't Realize so well.
I'd drink more coffee but my cardiologist insists I don't
I'd drink more coffee but my heart man
prescribes "not so smart, man".
I'd think more whiskey would push me
to bask at last in a primal light,
but my general practitioner generally frowns
about practicing until I get it right.
I'd read more
but eyes see less.. I digress,
I'd come 2/pray more/give in/give more/dream-sleep in/weep for once/
walk the lit dark like I used to/
take the darklight I've refused to.
I can Recognize, but hell,
I don't Realize so well.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
2nd Guess
I would welcome suggestions for the last word on this wordmath that spilled last night at work. I was shooting for the word that most suggested that Truth was in the room, & something divine.
the night fills book shelves
of newselves
and ghosts ancient that go silent
after you dare to glare it down
the night fills full boxes
of hoaxes
All honest,bold-faced hazy fascades,
and full frontal revelations.
or
the night fills bookshelves
of newselves
and ghosts ancient that go silent
after you dare to glare it down
the night fills full boxes
of hoaxes
all honest, bold-faced hazy fascades,
and full frontal epiphanies
I'm not sure of the precise differentiation, I was mostly going for the sound. someone told me that when they thought of 'revelation' they thought of something that stayed & changed. and that 'epiphany' was more temporal. I kinda think of revelation as being the more visual of the two (and this might fall in line w/the 'newselves' & 'ghosts' imagery.) what do you think? which?
the night fills book shelves
of newselves
and ghosts ancient that go silent
after you dare to glare it down
the night fills full boxes
of hoaxes
All honest,bold-faced hazy fascades,
and full frontal revelations.
or
the night fills bookshelves
of newselves
and ghosts ancient that go silent
after you dare to glare it down
the night fills full boxes
of hoaxes
all honest, bold-faced hazy fascades,
and full frontal epiphanies
I'm not sure of the precise differentiation, I was mostly going for the sound. someone told me that when they thought of 'revelation' they thought of something that stayed & changed. and that 'epiphany' was more temporal. I kinda think of revelation as being the more visual of the two (and this might fall in line w/the 'newselves' & 'ghosts' imagery.) what do you think? which?
Monday, April 21, 2008
pushy pee see
With prejudicial judgement, I theorize that political correctness is eschewed,ignored, and mocked even by some who might be nervous & shy about their accidental bigotry,the more unsightly blemishes of their prejudices, and bad manners showing.
Wise guys like Bill Maher,dennis miller,carlos mencia, and stern might still bask in the sexy afterglow of outrageousness, and pass wordy wind
freely because George Carlin fought every utterance for "freely".But Carlin & his spiritual mentor Mr. Lenny Bruce were ultimately NOT up against political correctness, it was all up against the would be & very real
priggish silencers or Free Speech ("priggish"? I'm gonna have to run a spell check on that)
Todd Rundgren has an appropriate song mention right about here
check out "Jesse"
I am sometimes in the minority I bet when i sometimes support and sometimes encourage PC, just as I stand by civility & fairness.
So I'm at lunch with family yesterday and I decide to offer up an observation to liven up the conversation.
Cable news had an extended piece on the recent earthquake in the Midwest. I quickly revealed my astonishment that arose while watching,
as one after another of the interviews by the surprised victims and citizens of Mt.Carmel, Illinois. The people were wild.
Let's just say that if a drive-in movie production were looking extras for their "nutty locals" scenes...let's just say, maybe there was a devastating industrial accident (from the the factory or nuclear plant that had laid off all it's town years before) maybe a spill or explosion maybe (this along with the unlikely Midwest earthquake thing). Or maybe the circus was in town.
I watched and forgot all about the unlikely Midwest earthquake and keened in on the (and here's where my prejudices come in,I'm from the Midwest) unlikely freakish Midwesterners.
Family at the table,especially my mate(into her 2nd white wine) imaginably glared in imaginably disapproving silence. Until she got to the heart of the matter right away when she brought up the Midwest thing. I admitted that I might have been less stunned by the shocking display on CNN, if the people lived much farther South.
She stepped things up by unnecessarily reminding us "In Cold Blood was where?"
I was about to counter to unnecessarily remind her in my rejoinder that her New Jersey housed the 21th century's "All In The Family", the too popular Sopranos when the food came.
Our quieter graceprayer might have been "judge not, not really budge not"
Wise guys like Bill Maher,dennis miller,carlos mencia, and stern might still bask in the sexy afterglow of outrageousness, and pass wordy wind
freely because George Carlin fought every utterance for "freely".But Carlin & his spiritual mentor Mr. Lenny Bruce were ultimately NOT up against political correctness, it was all up against the would be & very real
priggish silencers or Free Speech ("priggish"? I'm gonna have to run a spell check on that)
Todd Rundgren has an appropriate song mention right about here
check out "Jesse"
I am sometimes in the minority I bet when i sometimes support and sometimes encourage PC, just as I stand by civility & fairness.
So I'm at lunch with family yesterday and I decide to offer up an observation to liven up the conversation.
Cable news had an extended piece on the recent earthquake in the Midwest. I quickly revealed my astonishment that arose while watching,
as one after another of the interviews by the surprised victims and citizens of Mt.Carmel, Illinois. The people were wild.
Let's just say that if a drive-in movie production were looking extras for their "nutty locals" scenes...let's just say, maybe there was a devastating industrial accident (from the the factory or nuclear plant that had laid off all it's town years before) maybe a spill or explosion maybe (this along with the unlikely Midwest earthquake thing). Or maybe the circus was in town.
I watched and forgot all about the unlikely Midwest earthquake and keened in on the (and here's where my prejudices come in,I'm from the Midwest) unlikely freakish Midwesterners.
Family at the table,especially my mate(into her 2nd white wine) imaginably glared in imaginably disapproving silence. Until she got to the heart of the matter right away when she brought up the Midwest thing. I admitted that I might have been less stunned by the shocking display on CNN, if the people lived much farther South.
She stepped things up by unnecessarily reminding us "In Cold Blood was where?"
I was about to counter to unnecessarily remind her in my rejoinder that her New Jersey housed the 21th century's "All In The Family", the too popular Sopranos when the food came.
Our quieter graceprayer might have been "judge not, not really budge not"
Thursday, April 17, 2008
a pathetic apathetic politic poll
passionate political concerns and my serious attention towards them even have deteriorated to a pale,anemic sickness since the 60's for me, my citizenry is a shambles.
But I wonder what my dear fellow progressives in Pennsylvania have on the signs in their yards, or does that happen once they stand up and wield their fateful vote and take part in crucial steering of this country's fate?after that only one sign goes up?
I am starting to cringe when I hear concerned democrats worry about and bad mouth the political sparring between the democratic candidates. Isn't it politics?Ain't it one big high school debate competition where points are made swinging the judges when gaffes are pointed out and capitalized on and hammered home? Ain't it what lawyers do in courtrooms the world over? pokin holes in how the other guy looks and discrediting one's way to the victory?
Here in my state, florida, where my fateful vote will likely not take part in crucial steering, but did encourage Clinton (though she's tenaciously willing to belittle herself some by going "old school" politics, I have faith that her longtime idealism might be powered into very real progressive change by her understanding how it can happen)
Obama is bullied by winning lawyer rhetoric about his "clinging to guns and religion" as if he weren't fucking right. it's embarrassing seeing clinton open her legs some for those NRA beasts. This business and a couple of my old heroes letting their Obama support show has shaken my support some, makes it easier to support either candidate on the ticket, as the good lawyer usually charges the most but wins, and Law ain't bad..
I can take some comfort in the ludicrousness that there is a latin term for neither guilty nor innocent.
But I wonder what my dear fellow progressives in Pennsylvania have on the signs in their yards, or does that happen once they stand up and wield their fateful vote and take part in crucial steering of this country's fate?after that only one sign goes up?
I am starting to cringe when I hear concerned democrats worry about and bad mouth the political sparring between the democratic candidates. Isn't it politics?Ain't it one big high school debate competition where points are made swinging the judges when gaffes are pointed out and capitalized on and hammered home? Ain't it what lawyers do in courtrooms the world over? pokin holes in how the other guy looks and discrediting one's way to the victory?
Here in my state, florida, where my fateful vote will likely not take part in crucial steering, but did encourage Clinton (though she's tenaciously willing to belittle herself some by going "old school" politics, I have faith that her longtime idealism might be powered into very real progressive change by her understanding how it can happen)
Obama is bullied by winning lawyer rhetoric about his "clinging to guns and religion" as if he weren't fucking right. it's embarrassing seeing clinton open her legs some for those NRA beasts. This business and a couple of my old heroes letting their Obama support show has shaken my support some, makes it easier to support either candidate on the ticket, as the good lawyer usually charges the most but wins, and Law ain't bad..
I can take some comfort in the ludicrousness that there is a latin term for neither guilty nor innocent.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
coarsely course through you & coerce you to beauty
how Art thou? Do you drink from the deep sink of inspired creations at an art museum, gallery, or maybe a street art fair on a street near you?sometimes?
Do you have something on one of your walls that you could only fall for?
And, can't help but stare?
It's an important thing,dontcha think?
It has been from an early age for me.
I'm told that soon after I found my father who had killed himself (the Hemingway), while all the distraught adults who knew & loved him were off balance with emotional & practical adjustments (like selling the house and moving on)
a forgotten first son had got into several paint cans and expressed quite a colorful statement on the backside of the new house for sale.
I
I was perched high for me
in a pinepitchtree
and waited out what I did
as I watched our house's back side
where I painted from all the paint cans
stacked out back. Though very new plans
made us move away from that life.
Daddy had died and left that life.
Somebody and something could only cover
that work.
II
a french girl with hair from the girl in Breathless
was our art teacher that visited
Miss Blue's 3rd grade class,
and liked my painting so much
she asked if she could take it
for a contest, or a book she was working on.
The blurry greens and blacks,
browns and blues was a ship in a storm.
I never saw it again but
somebody and something could only recover
that work.
still, tie me to the mast.
and
I must get the next good grasp
still, the next limb up
to see some.
Do you have something on one of your walls that you could only fall for?
And, can't help but stare?
It's an important thing,dontcha think?
It has been from an early age for me.
I'm told that soon after I found my father who had killed himself (the Hemingway), while all the distraught adults who knew & loved him were off balance with emotional & practical adjustments (like selling the house and moving on)
a forgotten first son had got into several paint cans and expressed quite a colorful statement on the backside of the new house for sale.
I
I was perched high for me
in a pinepitchtree
and waited out what I did
as I watched our house's back side
where I painted from all the paint cans
stacked out back. Though very new plans
made us move away from that life.
Daddy had died and left that life.
Somebody and something could only cover
that work.
II
a french girl with hair from the girl in Breathless
was our art teacher that visited
Miss Blue's 3rd grade class,
and liked my painting so much
she asked if she could take it
for a contest, or a book she was working on.
The blurry greens and blacks,
browns and blues was a ship in a storm.
I never saw it again but
somebody and something could only recover
that work.
still, tie me to the mast.
and
I must get the next good grasp
still, the next limb up
to see some.
Monday, April 14, 2008
just
I had been thinking of continuing this cyberspill with a piece on capital A Art;
mention a coupla meaningful childhood metaphors, mention an artist friend's cyber gallery. but something even
more important than capital A Art arose.
When I joked to my sister that going to another Todd Rundgren concert (at the very least 10 visits the last 25 years) was like getting back to church it made me think that not only had the amazing artist Todd influenced me,moved me, and most importantly, amused me. but his "hero-ness" encompassed "spiritual mentor".
This time out something was off. Todd and band were obviously exhausted from a Japan tour and as the rough & hard- edged songs started coming, they were coming AT me rather than TO me. It seemed that the set play list was a medley of the disagreeable "lousiest songs on the album". He wanted in yr face R & R and I wasn't taking his choices. I twisted and turned through half a dozen aural"abrasions" in the old crunched-in seats in the gorgeous Tampa Theatre and wanted out. I kept looking down the aisle of people I would have to get up so that I could get some air and another imported beer. My partner looked over and smiled showing me that She was having a fine time as I made my move.
Back,better,Todd warmed me with "Mystified" * "Broke down & busted"
and when the encore came; the always ethereal "Hawking", Kasim helping bigtime with "Trapped", and a song I never liked,"Worldwide Epiphany"
took off as something they didn't plan and I never expected, they truleytranscended their show,mercifully, and the night was saved for me.
from just a man to just a man.
Throughout the show I wondered if tonight;if like in any spiritual journey, I must denounce my earthly idols, kill my messiah, to step up and allow the true power to course through,coarsely coerce,and shine on all.
EarlyLast week, for the first time since childhood, I was pressed to kneel
down and pray. I was taught to think of and bless all relatives and friends before sleep, it was a long list for a preschooler. EarlyLast week I would start to think of four people in my small world who's despairate situations needed it thought. I asked for one thing, I thought one strong word to plea; Mercy.
from just a man
mention a coupla meaningful childhood metaphors, mention an artist friend's cyber gallery. but something even
more important than capital A Art arose.
When I joked to my sister that going to another Todd Rundgren concert (at the very least 10 visits the last 25 years) was like getting back to church it made me think that not only had the amazing artist Todd influenced me,moved me, and most importantly, amused me. but his "hero-ness" encompassed "spiritual mentor".
This time out something was off. Todd and band were obviously exhausted from a Japan tour and as the rough & hard- edged songs started coming, they were coming AT me rather than TO me. It seemed that the set play list was a medley of the disagreeable "lousiest songs on the album". He wanted in yr face R & R and I wasn't taking his choices. I twisted and turned through half a dozen aural"abrasions" in the old crunched-in seats in the gorgeous Tampa Theatre and wanted out. I kept looking down the aisle of people I would have to get up so that I could get some air and another imported beer. My partner looked over and smiled showing me that She was having a fine time as I made my move.
Back,better,Todd warmed me with "Mystified" * "Broke down & busted"
and when the encore came; the always ethereal "Hawking", Kasim helping bigtime with "Trapped", and a song I never liked,"Worldwide Epiphany"
took off as something they didn't plan and I never expected, they truleytranscended their show,mercifully, and the night was saved for me.
from just a man to just a man.
Throughout the show I wondered if tonight;if like in any spiritual journey, I must denounce my earthly idols, kill my messiah, to step up and allow the true power to course through,coarsely coerce,and shine on all.
EarlyLast week, for the first time since childhood, I was pressed to kneel
down and pray. I was taught to think of and bless all relatives and friends before sleep, it was a long list for a preschooler. EarlyLast week I would start to think of four people in my small world who's despairate situations needed it thought. I asked for one thing, I thought one strong word to plea; Mercy.
from just a man
Friday, April 4, 2008
gradual
a bit Luney this morning before the sun also rises.
Surely the shades of light that differentiate the choices of simple card samples in the paint department
are more gradual.
from "sidewalk chalk in August"
to "chalk on a sidewalked on"
to "sidewalk chalk choking in a drizzle"
to "splashed off crying the next day chalk"
my luney moon moods that need to Place at least before
the sun also races
ain't so gradual
I'm lit by the promise of
full moon in a perfect world
and darkened
at the edge of Half-Moon Quarry.
So we'll safe & lazily gaze back at something from
lunar months & months ago
JUNE (to a muse)
s t a r e s
that moon is a cliche'
for howling wolves.
lunar muse pulls away at;
a tide, all to write all,
to draw in a cave.
a young man must walk.
Late night. streetlight to streetlight
blurry bleak alleys, not just black, just dark.
It watches..wit nesses
pushfollows him home.
An old man must watch.
Late night. from his door down his driveway
blurily peaks always
up to his moonscape
cloudblanket backs his bloom
queen anne's lace against the face of his
luminous Orchid.
Surely the shades of light that differentiate the choices of simple card samples in the paint department
are more gradual.
from "sidewalk chalk in August"
to "chalk on a sidewalked on"
to "sidewalk chalk choking in a drizzle"
to "splashed off crying the next day chalk"
my luney moon moods that need to Place at least before
the sun also races
ain't so gradual
I'm lit by the promise of
full moon in a perfect world
and darkened
at the edge of Half-Moon Quarry.
So we'll safe & lazily gaze back at something from
lunar months & months ago
JUNE (to a muse)
s t a r e s
that moon is a cliche'
for howling wolves.
lunar muse pulls away at;
a tide, all to write all,
to draw in a cave.
a young man must walk.
Late night. streetlight to streetlight
blurry bleak alleys, not just black, just dark.
It watches..wit nesses
pushfollows him home.
An old man must watch.
Late night. from his door down his driveway
blurily peaks always
up to his moonscape
cloudblanket backs his bloom
queen anne's lace against the face of his
luminous Orchid.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
start/stark page 2
not so many years ago, while I was at the Bumbershoot Art festival that Seattle hosts (and boasts) every labour day weekend, while I was waiting in a long line to take in and experience the honest stylings of the "performance artist",writer,actor,monologist, and one clever & amusing
talktalktalker. Tho' Seattle always offered up quite a few music opportunities for me,this guy from the cultural wasteland of southwest florida to cum to, along w/cool short films,some writers & artists every year, Spaulding Gray was this years highlight.
from the long line, I could spot him walking slowly & awkwardly with a cane (he had been in a horrible auto accident in Ireland recently) eyeing the crowd.
He approached me and stopped. introduced himself (while other faces all around strained to listen in) I tried to express my delight in meeting him/ I had come a long way just to watch him from the audience. He asked me politely to consider joining him on the stage with a few others to be amusing and honest enough that we might Be the show.
I laughed nervously, thanked him (all the time thinking about the horrors of public speaking nerves all through grade school) looked him in the eye and told him it wouldn't be a good idea for me. He continued to try to sell me on the idea, said that he was pretty adept at picking interesting co-conversationalists, that he kinda went with his" secret feelings" and that he felt good about me, and asked me to change my mind.
I smiled nervously, thanked him (all the time thinking, i can't see it happening, I'm Way short on the alcohol..and everybody seems to be watching us) he looked disappointed when we shook hands and I sincerely wished him luck. After he limped on his way,on with his psychic quest for spontaneity partners, the strangers around begged "whaddid he say,whhaddid he say?"
months later, he killed himself in the cold waters of new york city.
Around the same time, a precious talented artist I loved listening to, his complicated exquisite melodies coupled with dire lyrics were just what i needed, Elliott Smith, a northwest singer songwriter, also was dead, of mysterious and horrible circumstances.
the same month I was diagnosed with (the true C word) cancer.
I am almost five years "all clear". the doctors never utilize the word "cured" I think, when it comes to the C word but after 5 years they leave you alone.
alone to miss those that matter, and did not survive.doomed to it
talktalktalker. Tho' Seattle always offered up quite a few music opportunities for me,this guy from the cultural wasteland of southwest florida to cum to, along w/cool short films,some writers & artists every year, Spaulding Gray was this years highlight.
from the long line, I could spot him walking slowly & awkwardly with a cane (he had been in a horrible auto accident in Ireland recently) eyeing the crowd.
He approached me and stopped. introduced himself (while other faces all around strained to listen in) I tried to express my delight in meeting him/ I had come a long way just to watch him from the audience. He asked me politely to consider joining him on the stage with a few others to be amusing and honest enough that we might Be the show.
I laughed nervously, thanked him (all the time thinking about the horrors of public speaking nerves all through grade school) looked him in the eye and told him it wouldn't be a good idea for me. He continued to try to sell me on the idea, said that he was pretty adept at picking interesting co-conversationalists, that he kinda went with his" secret feelings" and that he felt good about me, and asked me to change my mind.
I smiled nervously, thanked him (all the time thinking, i can't see it happening, I'm Way short on the alcohol..and everybody seems to be watching us) he looked disappointed when we shook hands and I sincerely wished him luck. After he limped on his way,on with his psychic quest for spontaneity partners, the strangers around begged "whaddid he say,whhaddid he say?"
months later, he killed himself in the cold waters of new york city.
Around the same time, a precious talented artist I loved listening to, his complicated exquisite melodies coupled with dire lyrics were just what i needed, Elliott Smith, a northwest singer songwriter, also was dead, of mysterious and horrible circumstances.
the same month I was diagnosed with (the true C word) cancer.
I am almost five years "all clear". the doctors never utilize the word "cured" I think, when it comes to the C word but after 5 years they leave you alone.
alone to miss those that matter, and did not survive.doomed to it
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
1st words,1st day on the job. I thought I might start w/something stark.
birth blood fresh, the mystic still hasn't lifted yet.all ways, I've only been gifted writing sporatically (when I say "gifts" I mean gifts. prose he knows he can only follow not lead." Command" of the language? I can only "suggest" the self theraputic word puzzles. thank you,jay suss)
when a blogtitle was requested here.. I looked around
saw a quote in the back of Sun Magazine nearby
"If you're really listening, if you're awake to the poignant beauty of the world,
you're heart breaks regularly" -Andrew Harvey
since I've always remedied the conscious agonies of knowing the world is filled with misery with a simple
but there is beauty in the world.
a child smiles in one of those shopping cart seats in a grocery store, one of those secret connection smiles,simple innocent soul to burdoned soul and I'm AOK for a moment.
and since I haven't written unsporatically...
see if I can come tomorrow
birth blood fresh, the mystic still hasn't lifted yet.all ways, I've only been gifted writing sporatically (when I say "gifts" I mean gifts. prose he knows he can only follow not lead." Command" of the language? I can only "suggest" the self theraputic word puzzles. thank you,jay suss)
when a blogtitle was requested here.. I looked around
saw a quote in the back of Sun Magazine nearby
"If you're really listening, if you're awake to the poignant beauty of the world,
you're heart breaks regularly" -Andrew Harvey
since I've always remedied the conscious agonies of knowing the world is filled with misery with a simple
but there is beauty in the world.
a child smiles in one of those shopping cart seats in a grocery store, one of those secret connection smiles,simple innocent soul to burdoned soul and I'm AOK for a moment.
and since I haven't written unsporatically...
see if I can come tomorrow
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