I can Recognize, but hell,
I can't Realize so well.
I'd drink more coffee but my cardiologist insists I don't
I'd drink more coffee but my heart man
prescribes "not so smart, man".
I'd think more whiskey would push me
to bask at last in a primal light,
but my general practitioner generally frowns
about practicing until I get it right.
I'd read more
but eyes see less.. I digress,
I'd come 2/pray more/give in/give more/dream-sleep in/weep for once/
walk the lit dark like I used to/
take the darklight I've refused to.
I can Recognize, but hell,
I don't Realize so well.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
2nd Guess
I would welcome suggestions for the last word on this wordmath that spilled last night at work. I was shooting for the word that most suggested that Truth was in the room, & something divine.
the night fills book shelves
of newselves
and ghosts ancient that go silent
after you dare to glare it down
the night fills full boxes
of hoaxes
All honest,bold-faced hazy fascades,
and full frontal revelations.
or
the night fills bookshelves
of newselves
and ghosts ancient that go silent
after you dare to glare it down
the night fills full boxes
of hoaxes
all honest, bold-faced hazy fascades,
and full frontal epiphanies
I'm not sure of the precise differentiation, I was mostly going for the sound. someone told me that when they thought of 'revelation' they thought of something that stayed & changed. and that 'epiphany' was more temporal. I kinda think of revelation as being the more visual of the two (and this might fall in line w/the 'newselves' & 'ghosts' imagery.) what do you think? which?
the night fills book shelves
of newselves
and ghosts ancient that go silent
after you dare to glare it down
the night fills full boxes
of hoaxes
All honest,bold-faced hazy fascades,
and full frontal revelations.
or
the night fills bookshelves
of newselves
and ghosts ancient that go silent
after you dare to glare it down
the night fills full boxes
of hoaxes
all honest, bold-faced hazy fascades,
and full frontal epiphanies
I'm not sure of the precise differentiation, I was mostly going for the sound. someone told me that when they thought of 'revelation' they thought of something that stayed & changed. and that 'epiphany' was more temporal. I kinda think of revelation as being the more visual of the two (and this might fall in line w/the 'newselves' & 'ghosts' imagery.) what do you think? which?
Monday, April 21, 2008
pushy pee see
With prejudicial judgement, I theorize that political correctness is eschewed,ignored, and mocked even by some who might be nervous & shy about their accidental bigotry,the more unsightly blemishes of their prejudices, and bad manners showing.
Wise guys like Bill Maher,dennis miller,carlos mencia, and stern might still bask in the sexy afterglow of outrageousness, and pass wordy wind
freely because George Carlin fought every utterance for "freely".But Carlin & his spiritual mentor Mr. Lenny Bruce were ultimately NOT up against political correctness, it was all up against the would be & very real
priggish silencers or Free Speech ("priggish"? I'm gonna have to run a spell check on that)
Todd Rundgren has an appropriate song mention right about here
check out "Jesse"
I am sometimes in the minority I bet when i sometimes support and sometimes encourage PC, just as I stand by civility & fairness.
So I'm at lunch with family yesterday and I decide to offer up an observation to liven up the conversation.
Cable news had an extended piece on the recent earthquake in the Midwest. I quickly revealed my astonishment that arose while watching,
as one after another of the interviews by the surprised victims and citizens of Mt.Carmel, Illinois. The people were wild.
Let's just say that if a drive-in movie production were looking extras for their "nutty locals" scenes...let's just say, maybe there was a devastating industrial accident (from the the factory or nuclear plant that had laid off all it's town years before) maybe a spill or explosion maybe (this along with the unlikely Midwest earthquake thing). Or maybe the circus was in town.
I watched and forgot all about the unlikely Midwest earthquake and keened in on the (and here's where my prejudices come in,I'm from the Midwest) unlikely freakish Midwesterners.
Family at the table,especially my mate(into her 2nd white wine) imaginably glared in imaginably disapproving silence. Until she got to the heart of the matter right away when she brought up the Midwest thing. I admitted that I might have been less stunned by the shocking display on CNN, if the people lived much farther South.
She stepped things up by unnecessarily reminding us "In Cold Blood was where?"
I was about to counter to unnecessarily remind her in my rejoinder that her New Jersey housed the 21th century's "All In The Family", the too popular Sopranos when the food came.
Our quieter graceprayer might have been "judge not, not really budge not"
Wise guys like Bill Maher,dennis miller,carlos mencia, and stern might still bask in the sexy afterglow of outrageousness, and pass wordy wind
freely because George Carlin fought every utterance for "freely".But Carlin & his spiritual mentor Mr. Lenny Bruce were ultimately NOT up against political correctness, it was all up against the would be & very real
priggish silencers or Free Speech ("priggish"? I'm gonna have to run a spell check on that)
Todd Rundgren has an appropriate song mention right about here
check out "Jesse"
I am sometimes in the minority I bet when i sometimes support and sometimes encourage PC, just as I stand by civility & fairness.
So I'm at lunch with family yesterday and I decide to offer up an observation to liven up the conversation.
Cable news had an extended piece on the recent earthquake in the Midwest. I quickly revealed my astonishment that arose while watching,
as one after another of the interviews by the surprised victims and citizens of Mt.Carmel, Illinois. The people were wild.
Let's just say that if a drive-in movie production were looking extras for their "nutty locals" scenes...let's just say, maybe there was a devastating industrial accident (from the the factory or nuclear plant that had laid off all it's town years before) maybe a spill or explosion maybe (this along with the unlikely Midwest earthquake thing). Or maybe the circus was in town.
I watched and forgot all about the unlikely Midwest earthquake and keened in on the (and here's where my prejudices come in,I'm from the Midwest) unlikely freakish Midwesterners.
Family at the table,especially my mate(into her 2nd white wine) imaginably glared in imaginably disapproving silence. Until she got to the heart of the matter right away when she brought up the Midwest thing. I admitted that I might have been less stunned by the shocking display on CNN, if the people lived much farther South.
She stepped things up by unnecessarily reminding us "In Cold Blood was where?"
I was about to counter to unnecessarily remind her in my rejoinder that her New Jersey housed the 21th century's "All In The Family", the too popular Sopranos when the food came.
Our quieter graceprayer might have been "judge not, not really budge not"
Thursday, April 17, 2008
a pathetic apathetic politic poll
passionate political concerns and my serious attention towards them even have deteriorated to a pale,anemic sickness since the 60's for me, my citizenry is a shambles.
But I wonder what my dear fellow progressives in Pennsylvania have on the signs in their yards, or does that happen once they stand up and wield their fateful vote and take part in crucial steering of this country's fate?after that only one sign goes up?
I am starting to cringe when I hear concerned democrats worry about and bad mouth the political sparring between the democratic candidates. Isn't it politics?Ain't it one big high school debate competition where points are made swinging the judges when gaffes are pointed out and capitalized on and hammered home? Ain't it what lawyers do in courtrooms the world over? pokin holes in how the other guy looks and discrediting one's way to the victory?
Here in my state, florida, where my fateful vote will likely not take part in crucial steering, but did encourage Clinton (though she's tenaciously willing to belittle herself some by going "old school" politics, I have faith that her longtime idealism might be powered into very real progressive change by her understanding how it can happen)
Obama is bullied by winning lawyer rhetoric about his "clinging to guns and religion" as if he weren't fucking right. it's embarrassing seeing clinton open her legs some for those NRA beasts. This business and a couple of my old heroes letting their Obama support show has shaken my support some, makes it easier to support either candidate on the ticket, as the good lawyer usually charges the most but wins, and Law ain't bad..
I can take some comfort in the ludicrousness that there is a latin term for neither guilty nor innocent.
But I wonder what my dear fellow progressives in Pennsylvania have on the signs in their yards, or does that happen once they stand up and wield their fateful vote and take part in crucial steering of this country's fate?after that only one sign goes up?
I am starting to cringe when I hear concerned democrats worry about and bad mouth the political sparring between the democratic candidates. Isn't it politics?Ain't it one big high school debate competition where points are made swinging the judges when gaffes are pointed out and capitalized on and hammered home? Ain't it what lawyers do in courtrooms the world over? pokin holes in how the other guy looks and discrediting one's way to the victory?
Here in my state, florida, where my fateful vote will likely not take part in crucial steering, but did encourage Clinton (though she's tenaciously willing to belittle herself some by going "old school" politics, I have faith that her longtime idealism might be powered into very real progressive change by her understanding how it can happen)
Obama is bullied by winning lawyer rhetoric about his "clinging to guns and religion" as if he weren't fucking right. it's embarrassing seeing clinton open her legs some for those NRA beasts. This business and a couple of my old heroes letting their Obama support show has shaken my support some, makes it easier to support either candidate on the ticket, as the good lawyer usually charges the most but wins, and Law ain't bad..
I can take some comfort in the ludicrousness that there is a latin term for neither guilty nor innocent.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
coarsely course through you & coerce you to beauty
how Art thou? Do you drink from the deep sink of inspired creations at an art museum, gallery, or maybe a street art fair on a street near you?sometimes?
Do you have something on one of your walls that you could only fall for?
And, can't help but stare?
It's an important thing,dontcha think?
It has been from an early age for me.
I'm told that soon after I found my father who had killed himself (the Hemingway), while all the distraught adults who knew & loved him were off balance with emotional & practical adjustments (like selling the house and moving on)
a forgotten first son had got into several paint cans and expressed quite a colorful statement on the backside of the new house for sale.
I
I was perched high for me
in a pinepitchtree
and waited out what I did
as I watched our house's back side
where I painted from all the paint cans
stacked out back. Though very new plans
made us move away from that life.
Daddy had died and left that life.
Somebody and something could only cover
that work.
II
a french girl with hair from the girl in Breathless
was our art teacher that visited
Miss Blue's 3rd grade class,
and liked my painting so much
she asked if she could take it
for a contest, or a book she was working on.
The blurry greens and blacks,
browns and blues was a ship in a storm.
I never saw it again but
somebody and something could only recover
that work.
still, tie me to the mast.
and
I must get the next good grasp
still, the next limb up
to see some.
Do you have something on one of your walls that you could only fall for?
And, can't help but stare?
It's an important thing,dontcha think?
It has been from an early age for me.
I'm told that soon after I found my father who had killed himself (the Hemingway), while all the distraught adults who knew & loved him were off balance with emotional & practical adjustments (like selling the house and moving on)
a forgotten first son had got into several paint cans and expressed quite a colorful statement on the backside of the new house for sale.
I
I was perched high for me
in a pinepitchtree
and waited out what I did
as I watched our house's back side
where I painted from all the paint cans
stacked out back. Though very new plans
made us move away from that life.
Daddy had died and left that life.
Somebody and something could only cover
that work.
II
a french girl with hair from the girl in Breathless
was our art teacher that visited
Miss Blue's 3rd grade class,
and liked my painting so much
she asked if she could take it
for a contest, or a book she was working on.
The blurry greens and blacks,
browns and blues was a ship in a storm.
I never saw it again but
somebody and something could only recover
that work.
still, tie me to the mast.
and
I must get the next good grasp
still, the next limb up
to see some.
Monday, April 14, 2008
just
I had been thinking of continuing this cyberspill with a piece on capital A Art;
mention a coupla meaningful childhood metaphors, mention an artist friend's cyber gallery. but something even
more important than capital A Art arose.
When I joked to my sister that going to another Todd Rundgren concert (at the very least 10 visits the last 25 years) was like getting back to church it made me think that not only had the amazing artist Todd influenced me,moved me, and most importantly, amused me. but his "hero-ness" encompassed "spiritual mentor".
This time out something was off. Todd and band were obviously exhausted from a Japan tour and as the rough & hard- edged songs started coming, they were coming AT me rather than TO me. It seemed that the set play list was a medley of the disagreeable "lousiest songs on the album". He wanted in yr face R & R and I wasn't taking his choices. I twisted and turned through half a dozen aural"abrasions" in the old crunched-in seats in the gorgeous Tampa Theatre and wanted out. I kept looking down the aisle of people I would have to get up so that I could get some air and another imported beer. My partner looked over and smiled showing me that She was having a fine time as I made my move.
Back,better,Todd warmed me with "Mystified" * "Broke down & busted"
and when the encore came; the always ethereal "Hawking", Kasim helping bigtime with "Trapped", and a song I never liked,"Worldwide Epiphany"
took off as something they didn't plan and I never expected, they truleytranscended their show,mercifully, and the night was saved for me.
from just a man to just a man.
Throughout the show I wondered if tonight;if like in any spiritual journey, I must denounce my earthly idols, kill my messiah, to step up and allow the true power to course through,coarsely coerce,and shine on all.
EarlyLast week, for the first time since childhood, I was pressed to kneel
down and pray. I was taught to think of and bless all relatives and friends before sleep, it was a long list for a preschooler. EarlyLast week I would start to think of four people in my small world who's despairate situations needed it thought. I asked for one thing, I thought one strong word to plea; Mercy.
from just a man
mention a coupla meaningful childhood metaphors, mention an artist friend's cyber gallery. but something even
more important than capital A Art arose.
When I joked to my sister that going to another Todd Rundgren concert (at the very least 10 visits the last 25 years) was like getting back to church it made me think that not only had the amazing artist Todd influenced me,moved me, and most importantly, amused me. but his "hero-ness" encompassed "spiritual mentor".
This time out something was off. Todd and band were obviously exhausted from a Japan tour and as the rough & hard- edged songs started coming, they were coming AT me rather than TO me. It seemed that the set play list was a medley of the disagreeable "lousiest songs on the album". He wanted in yr face R & R and I wasn't taking his choices. I twisted and turned through half a dozen aural"abrasions" in the old crunched-in seats in the gorgeous Tampa Theatre and wanted out. I kept looking down the aisle of people I would have to get up so that I could get some air and another imported beer. My partner looked over and smiled showing me that She was having a fine time as I made my move.
Back,better,Todd warmed me with "Mystified" * "Broke down & busted"
and when the encore came; the always ethereal "Hawking", Kasim helping bigtime with "Trapped", and a song I never liked,"Worldwide Epiphany"
took off as something they didn't plan and I never expected, they truleytranscended their show,mercifully, and the night was saved for me.
from just a man to just a man.
Throughout the show I wondered if tonight;if like in any spiritual journey, I must denounce my earthly idols, kill my messiah, to step up and allow the true power to course through,coarsely coerce,and shine on all.
EarlyLast week, for the first time since childhood, I was pressed to kneel
down and pray. I was taught to think of and bless all relatives and friends before sleep, it was a long list for a preschooler. EarlyLast week I would start to think of four people in my small world who's despairate situations needed it thought. I asked for one thing, I thought one strong word to plea; Mercy.
from just a man
Friday, April 4, 2008
gradual
a bit Luney this morning before the sun also rises.
Surely the shades of light that differentiate the choices of simple card samples in the paint department
are more gradual.
from "sidewalk chalk in August"
to "chalk on a sidewalked on"
to "sidewalk chalk choking in a drizzle"
to "splashed off crying the next day chalk"
my luney moon moods that need to Place at least before
the sun also races
ain't so gradual
I'm lit by the promise of
full moon in a perfect world
and darkened
at the edge of Half-Moon Quarry.
So we'll safe & lazily gaze back at something from
lunar months & months ago
JUNE (to a muse)
s t a r e s
that moon is a cliche'
for howling wolves.
lunar muse pulls away at;
a tide, all to write all,
to draw in a cave.
a young man must walk.
Late night. streetlight to streetlight
blurry bleak alleys, not just black, just dark.
It watches..wit nesses
pushfollows him home.
An old man must watch.
Late night. from his door down his driveway
blurily peaks always
up to his moonscape
cloudblanket backs his bloom
queen anne's lace against the face of his
luminous Orchid.
Surely the shades of light that differentiate the choices of simple card samples in the paint department
are more gradual.
from "sidewalk chalk in August"
to "chalk on a sidewalked on"
to "sidewalk chalk choking in a drizzle"
to "splashed off crying the next day chalk"
my luney moon moods that need to Place at least before
the sun also races
ain't so gradual
I'm lit by the promise of
full moon in a perfect world
and darkened
at the edge of Half-Moon Quarry.
So we'll safe & lazily gaze back at something from
lunar months & months ago
JUNE (to a muse)
s t a r e s
that moon is a cliche'
for howling wolves.
lunar muse pulls away at;
a tide, all to write all,
to draw in a cave.
a young man must walk.
Late night. streetlight to streetlight
blurry bleak alleys, not just black, just dark.
It watches..wit nesses
pushfollows him home.
An old man must watch.
Late night. from his door down his driveway
blurily peaks always
up to his moonscape
cloudblanket backs his bloom
queen anne's lace against the face of his
luminous Orchid.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
start/stark page 2
not so many years ago, while I was at the Bumbershoot Art festival that Seattle hosts (and boasts) every labour day weekend, while I was waiting in a long line to take in and experience the honest stylings of the "performance artist",writer,actor,monologist, and one clever & amusing
talktalktalker. Tho' Seattle always offered up quite a few music opportunities for me,this guy from the cultural wasteland of southwest florida to cum to, along w/cool short films,some writers & artists every year, Spaulding Gray was this years highlight.
from the long line, I could spot him walking slowly & awkwardly with a cane (he had been in a horrible auto accident in Ireland recently) eyeing the crowd.
He approached me and stopped. introduced himself (while other faces all around strained to listen in) I tried to express my delight in meeting him/ I had come a long way just to watch him from the audience. He asked me politely to consider joining him on the stage with a few others to be amusing and honest enough that we might Be the show.
I laughed nervously, thanked him (all the time thinking about the horrors of public speaking nerves all through grade school) looked him in the eye and told him it wouldn't be a good idea for me. He continued to try to sell me on the idea, said that he was pretty adept at picking interesting co-conversationalists, that he kinda went with his" secret feelings" and that he felt good about me, and asked me to change my mind.
I smiled nervously, thanked him (all the time thinking, i can't see it happening, I'm Way short on the alcohol..and everybody seems to be watching us) he looked disappointed when we shook hands and I sincerely wished him luck. After he limped on his way,on with his psychic quest for spontaneity partners, the strangers around begged "whaddid he say,whhaddid he say?"
months later, he killed himself in the cold waters of new york city.
Around the same time, a precious talented artist I loved listening to, his complicated exquisite melodies coupled with dire lyrics were just what i needed, Elliott Smith, a northwest singer songwriter, also was dead, of mysterious and horrible circumstances.
the same month I was diagnosed with (the true C word) cancer.
I am almost five years "all clear". the doctors never utilize the word "cured" I think, when it comes to the C word but after 5 years they leave you alone.
alone to miss those that matter, and did not survive.doomed to it
talktalktalker. Tho' Seattle always offered up quite a few music opportunities for me,this guy from the cultural wasteland of southwest florida to cum to, along w/cool short films,some writers & artists every year, Spaulding Gray was this years highlight.
from the long line, I could spot him walking slowly & awkwardly with a cane (he had been in a horrible auto accident in Ireland recently) eyeing the crowd.
He approached me and stopped. introduced himself (while other faces all around strained to listen in) I tried to express my delight in meeting him/ I had come a long way just to watch him from the audience. He asked me politely to consider joining him on the stage with a few others to be amusing and honest enough that we might Be the show.
I laughed nervously, thanked him (all the time thinking about the horrors of public speaking nerves all through grade school) looked him in the eye and told him it wouldn't be a good idea for me. He continued to try to sell me on the idea, said that he was pretty adept at picking interesting co-conversationalists, that he kinda went with his" secret feelings" and that he felt good about me, and asked me to change my mind.
I smiled nervously, thanked him (all the time thinking, i can't see it happening, I'm Way short on the alcohol..and everybody seems to be watching us) he looked disappointed when we shook hands and I sincerely wished him luck. After he limped on his way,on with his psychic quest for spontaneity partners, the strangers around begged "whaddid he say,whhaddid he say?"
months later, he killed himself in the cold waters of new york city.
Around the same time, a precious talented artist I loved listening to, his complicated exquisite melodies coupled with dire lyrics were just what i needed, Elliott Smith, a northwest singer songwriter, also was dead, of mysterious and horrible circumstances.
the same month I was diagnosed with (the true C word) cancer.
I am almost five years "all clear". the doctors never utilize the word "cured" I think, when it comes to the C word but after 5 years they leave you alone.
alone to miss those that matter, and did not survive.doomed to it
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
1st words,1st day on the job. I thought I might start w/something stark.
birth blood fresh, the mystic still hasn't lifted yet.all ways, I've only been gifted writing sporatically (when I say "gifts" I mean gifts. prose he knows he can only follow not lead." Command" of the language? I can only "suggest" the self theraputic word puzzles. thank you,jay suss)
when a blogtitle was requested here.. I looked around
saw a quote in the back of Sun Magazine nearby
"If you're really listening, if you're awake to the poignant beauty of the world,
you're heart breaks regularly" -Andrew Harvey
since I've always remedied the conscious agonies of knowing the world is filled with misery with a simple
but there is beauty in the world.
a child smiles in one of those shopping cart seats in a grocery store, one of those secret connection smiles,simple innocent soul to burdoned soul and I'm AOK for a moment.
and since I haven't written unsporatically...
see if I can come tomorrow
birth blood fresh, the mystic still hasn't lifted yet.all ways, I've only been gifted writing sporatically (when I say "gifts" I mean gifts. prose he knows he can only follow not lead." Command" of the language? I can only "suggest" the self theraputic word puzzles. thank you,jay suss)
when a blogtitle was requested here.. I looked around
saw a quote in the back of Sun Magazine nearby
"If you're really listening, if you're awake to the poignant beauty of the world,
you're heart breaks regularly" -Andrew Harvey
since I've always remedied the conscious agonies of knowing the world is filled with misery with a simple
but there is beauty in the world.
a child smiles in one of those shopping cart seats in a grocery store, one of those secret connection smiles,simple innocent soul to burdoned soul and I'm AOK for a moment.
and since I haven't written unsporatically...
see if I can come tomorrow
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